Are You And Your Partner Struggling With Sex or Intimacy Issues?
Are you and your partner experiencing difficulty with issues around sex? Maybe one of you wants sex more frequently than the other, and this has led to conflicts in your relationship. Or, you may both be so busy or preoccupied with the stresses of day-to-day life that your sex life has slowed down, and you can’t figure out how to reignite the spark. If you are having sex, has it become routine, something that is done without much pleasure or that you feel like you should do rather than something you feel passionate about? Do you find it difficult to communicate your desires? Perhaps you’re unsure about how to talk with your partner about sex or feel uncomfortable bringing up the topic. Or, maybe you have a difficult sexual history or have been taught that sex is shameful, embarrassing or inappropriate to talk about. Do you wish you and your partner could have a passionate and loving sex life and connect on a deep, intimate level?
Many People Struggle With Sex And Intimacy
In most relationships, couples have different levels of sexual desire. If you and your partner have a mismatched desire, it can lead to a great deal of frustration for both of you. If you tend to want sex less than your partner, you may feel guilty, like you’re not meeting your partner’s needs. If you tend to want sex more than your partner, you may question your desirability. While these issues can often be painful and difficult to talk about, sex therapy can help you understand your different desires and create a healthy, connected sex life.
For most women, and some men, a connected sex life begins outside of the bedroom, with clear communication about all aspects of the relationship, from who does the dishes to how each partner is feeling. Sexuality is affected by and can affect the rest of the relationship. Sex is just one of the ways that you and your partner connect, and it is an important one for many couples. When sexual issues arise in a relationship, they often signal other difficulties. Or, concerns around sex can lead to silence, communication difficulties and other relationship problems. The good news is that if you are struggling, there is hope. You can work through sex and intimacy issues and revitalize your relationship, in and out of the bedroom.
Sex Therapy Can Help You Create Greater Pleasure and a Stronger Bond
It is possible to reconnect sexually with your partner and improve your relationship. Sex therapy is very effective at bringing difficult topics out into the open, enhancing communication and helping couples reignite their sex lives. The compassionate, non-judgmental therapists at Chupik Counseling will work with you and your partner to understand the issues, sexual and otherwise, that you are facing in your relationship, and help you find the best path to healing.
In sex therapy sessions, your experienced, nonjudgmental and compassionate therapist can help you and your partner look at your whole relationship, as sexual issues can be a manifestation of other things. We may investigate how well you and your partner’s emotional needs are being met. One or both of you may be looking for more attention, communication or time. Or, it’s possible that you and your partner may be overwhelmed by other stresses in your life and may feel too busy for sex. We can talk about these issues and others and discuss effective, practical solutions to the realities of navigating sexual relationships in a complicated world.
Your therapist can also help you and your partner explore your beliefs about sex and where they came from. Shame often exists around sex, especially for people who have experienced sexual abuse or grew up in a home where anything sex related was considered taboo. It can be difficult to overcome sexual trauma and negative messages from childhood, but it is possible. Together, we can replace negative beliefs with new, healthier ones. For example, rather than looking at sex as something shameful, you might look at it as stress relief, as something that feels good. And, if there is past trauma, your therapist may suggest individual trauma therapy to help you or your partner work through and recover from the wounds of the past.
Through sex therapy, you and your partner can conceptualize your relationship, finding new richness and depth in all aspects of your life as a couple. With the help of a therapist, you can learn to appreciate each other’s experience and come to a better understanding of both your needs and desires. Often, when we learn to step outside of ourselves and pay attention to our partner, destructive patterns and cycles begin to change. This process can transform your relationship, bring you and your partner closer together and create a more fulfilled, happier relationship. With guidance, support and a willingness to explore yourselves and your relationship, you can reignite your sex life and feel more energized and connected to each other.
You may need support while navigating these challenging issues, but still have questions or concerns about sex therapy…
I have a hard time talking with my partner about sex. I’m even more embarrassed by the idea of talking about it with a stranger.
In our culture, there are many images and messages about sex, but very little open communication about it. You may have grown up believing it was not okay to talk about sex, even with your sexual partner. It is very normal to have feelings of shame or embarrassment around talking about sex. The good news is it gets easier once you start. In therapy, you have a safe space to talk about your concerns and your desires. You can even begin by talking about your embarrassment. Through open communication, you and your partner can learn more about each other and improve your sex life, whatever that means for you.
I want to try sex therapy, but my partner isn’t sure.
Because people are often uncomfortable talking about sex, it’s very common for one partner to want to seek help for intimacy issues while the other person is more reluctant. If you think sex therapy would help your relationship, but your partner is not sure it’s a good idea, you might try opening up a discussion about what his or her concerns are, and explain why you think it’s important. You could also suggest a consultation session with one of our therapists, which can give both of you a sense of what sex therapy is like and how it can help your relationship. Sometimes it’s easier to wade rather than to dive, and a consultation session can help you and your partner figure out whether sex therapy is right for you.
What if sex therapy doesn’t help? I’ve heard that it is expensive and time-consuming.
If you and your partner are having intimacy issues—particularly if the problem has been going on for a long time or is severe—it may seem impossible that therapy could help. These feelings of hopelessness are very common. But, you can enjoy a healthy and satisfying sex life, and therapy can help. For many people, a marriage or long-term relationship is a significant part of their life. Putting the money and time into healing it is a way of investing in your future happiness. While sex is only one aspect of a relationship, it is often an important one, and an area where a great deal of miscommunication can occur. Sex therapy can help break down the barriers to communication and improve your whole relationship.
You Can Reignite Your Sex Life And Build A Stronger Relationship
If you and your partner are ready to explore your intimate connection, or if you have additional questions about working with the therapists at Chupik Counseling, we invite you to contact us and schedule a first session.